a list of "in's" for 2025
2024 was a hard year for me. I experienced a relapse in my bipolar disorder and found myself depressed again after a few beautiful years of happiness. I have been searching for a renewed lust for life/joy de vivre/whimsy since then, with no luck. However, I am not letting myself get down because of this. When I was happy a few years ago, my then therapist told me I had an “attitude for gratitude”, and that is what I’m looking to find again. I am choosing to search for joy where I can, and to find the beauty in all the small things. My goal for 2025 is to romanticize my life the way I used to, the thing that brought so much joy into my little life. So! Here is a list of things I want to do to renew my lust for life in 2025. I suppose you can consider this my “in’s” of 2025!
I want to do my gratitude journal every morning. I have fallen off this item for about a month now, and I can feel a difference in my appreciation for life. I find a gratitude journal helps center me and helps me reframe my day. It encourages me to think about things that bring me joy through the fog of sadness. I think this is something that will help me find happiness in the little things, and also offers me an opportunity to look back and see how far I’ve come.
Taking time for myself every weekend. I have always been a solitary person, and now that I’m in a committed relationship I have sometimes found myself forgoing my need to be alone. My goal here is to have one day where my partner (or my friends) and I adventure, and then another day for me to engage in self-care. This, for me, includes going to a fitness class in the morning, coming home and doing a face mask, taking a nice shower with good music playing, and reading for as long as I want.
I have discovered the beauty of moving my body and have found it to be quite helpful for expelling nervous energy. I am particularly fond of barre, and plan on going at least three times a week. I have never really worked out before, at least not beyond going for a long walk, so there has definitely been a learning curve for me. But I’m truly enjoying myself, even if I still have to take multiple breaks per class! My body is learning new moves and that it can grow stronger, and that is something that makes me feel good and proud.
Taking a picture of something I find beautiful every day. I started doing this because an app I use to encourage me to engage in daily tasks (Finch) suggested I do it, and when I told my therapist this she said it was an amazing idea she supports wholeheartedly. And if Karen loves it, then I love it! I look forward to seeing what moments I capture this year, and hope to get to look back fondly at these photos at the end of 2025.
Forcing myself to follow through on plans. My depression has exhausted me, and I’ve found myself constantly cancelling plans with my friends because I simply do not have the energy to leave my house. I love being social and I love my friends, and being with them fills me with happiness. An evening with my friends where we watch a movie or play Mario Kart has always made me feel better, and that’s something I need to remember.
Finding strength in my community. The world is a turbulent place right now, and with an upcoming election in Canada I am very worried about the possibility of a government that will institute harmful policies for my queer and trans siblings. I am choosing to find trans joy in my friendships and reminding myself that, no matter what happens, we can find something beautiful to celebrate. Our communities are vibrant and full, and we will not be taken down by a beady eyed rock (because his name translates to rock lol).
Working on my French skills. Now this one is a little stressful, but I take pride in being bilingual and want to be able to fluently function in both of Canada’s official languages. My goal for 2025 is to read more French books, even if they are kids books or silly Mafia books. This is partially because I want to succeed at work, but also because I have a genuine interest in being able to experience multiple cultures and communicate in two languages. Also sometimes things sound cooler in French.
I want to explore some new music, and attend more concerts (to the best of my budgeting abilities). I love finding new music; there’s just something about a good song that can change your entire day. I love goth music in general, and want to get more in touch with the subculture with which I identify by supporting small bands. I want to add to this by seeing the musicians I like live, if possible. This is difficult since many small/European bands cannot afford to come to Canada, but thankfully a few of my faves are coming to Montreal this year!
Becoming a cinephile. My partner loves serious movies and likes to show me movies I never would have thought to watch on my own. I want to watch more movies in my local independent theatre, and I want to watch the classics that have influenced the genres I love today. Bay of Blood and all the giallos on Tubi, you better get ready for me!
I want to try new restaurants, new foods, and also try to cook for myself more. My ADHD and years of disordered eating have made it difficult to enjoy food and keep to a consistent eating schedule, and this is the year I plan to do something about it. I want to find recipes that make my heart and stomach happy, but that are also relatively easy to make and do not take many spoons. I know this will take some effort, but if it means I can make delicious yet easy meals for myself and my partner, I know it will be worth it.
Finally, I want to spend time reading books I know I will enjoy. Last year I tried to read a few books that did not bring me joy, and they made me cranky. I want to be pickier about my reading choices and find books that I know I’ll think are good, instead of trying to read what’s popular or that my mutuals have rated well. I want to explore more literary fiction, more horror, and encourage more diversity in my reading.
Ultimately, my goal is to find the beauty in all the little things. I want to see the beauty in every tree, every flower, every dog I walk past. I want to enjoy every fancy coffee, every conversation I have with a loved one, and every book I read. I want to be patient and kind with myself, and understand that every day may not be a great day, but that there is always something to be grateful for, even if it is a basic thing like having a nice cozy apartment to share with my partner. I am sick of being depressed, and want to appreciate everything in my life again, from the small things to the big things. There is joy and happiness to be found, I just have to look for it and accept it into my life. This will also take some adjustments to my meds, some adjustments to my general routine, but those are things I’m willing to do if it means I can experience the totality of life again.